Another Cubicology Short. Click here to view the history of Cubicology and other short excerpts.
Pursuing New Opportunities...really? Why is it so hard for a company to admit firings? Prior to quitting my job back in January (shout out to the fab 5 who quit that day! Yep, I gave us a name. They may not know it, but it was a great day and time in history...worthy of a moniker, so Fab 5 it is.) I can’t tell you how many emails I have received saying something like this: It is with great sadness that I have to announce the departure of Said Peon. Said Peon has (now pay attention to the key words) decided (key word #1) to pursue other opportunities (key phrase # 2). Said Peon will be sadly missed. O.k., now the first problem with this is that it reads like an obituary, but I guess it is the loss of someone after all. And what is the deal with decided? They didn’t decide to leave; you (Mr. Employer) decided to FIRE them. And tell me a little more about these other opportunities, since there are sooo many jobs out there in the midst of the recession!
These people did not decide to pursue other opportunities. They were fired and more than likely are in the process of attempting to stave off a breakdown because now they are swimming in a wave pool of the unemployed! Employers drive me crazy with that. They will go to any lengths to prevent themselves from looking like the bad guys. We are not dummies, we know you fired them, we also know that if they decided to leave and pursue other opportunities that more than likely they would have put in some sort of notice and then told everyone goodbye. If we see security escorting Said Peon out of the building and then see someone else cleaning out Said Peon’s desk, we are bright enough to know that they didn’t decide…YOU DID! What in the world are they trying to protect us from?
A company that is a medium for communicating with the entire city that cannot even communicate honestly with its staff, is rather sad. I recall a day when they fired a lady that was working really hard…because we all work really hard right? Anyway, her manager used to talk about her behind her back and that would really bother me. One day I had to help cover her accounts and her manager came to converse with me about them. I told her that she needed to contact her clients and tell them that they fired Said Peon. She kind of giggled and hushed me a bit and said, “we let her go”. I said, yea I know, you fired her, just call it what it is. She said we don’t use that word, I said you don’t use that word. By the way, not many people cared for this manager and she was under scrutiny herself at the time. Fortunately for all of us, she decided to pursue other opportunities not much later than Said Peon that she let go...my thoughts for her..."So long!! Good luck swimming in that opportunity wave pool!"