September 9, 2011

Junk Drawer Craziness

Seriously why do they exist? I'm thinking just to bother me. Why would one own junk and give it a special drawer residence? I despise junk, but yet I've given it a home. Shouldn't I just throw it out? I mean, I can be having a great day until I realize that I need...say...a battery for the dying remote control. Hmm, I wonder if we have any batteries. As I get up on my mission to find the elusive battery there are some things I know for sure 1.) I have not created a special battery holder anywhere in my home 2.) my steps are taking me in a direction that can only result in misery, especially if there isn't a battery to be found. It's like I'm in a trance being magnetically pulled into the direction of the all important battery, all the while I sense my jolly mood is about to get a punch in the jolly mood gut! And I'm right:
So now I'm ticked, slamming all around fiercely rummaging through all of this CRAP otherwise known at manuals, receipts, power cords, plug-ins, staplers, cameras, tape measures etc. AAARRRRGGGGG! I'm mad at the world wondering why all of this CRAP is even in here as if someone else other than Chris and myself are responsible...but that's beside the point. I'm disgusted and angry...and now in a bad mood. Then I finally find the batteries! The rechargeable ones. I proceed to put them in the remote, but now I am extra ticked because the stupid things don't work. Wonder why!!!! Because of this:

Okay, I get that the objects in this drawer are inanimate and did not put themselves there. So maybe I shouldn't be calling them stupid and all but someone has got to take responsibility. Who was the wise guy that invented the junk drawer? He should be fired!! I'm certain that this junk drawer is an epidemic. This is not something that an organized obsessed person should have to endure.

I had to go through this stuff. I mean if this is going to be a continuous problem I'd just rather have a house that does not come with drawers:

Now this is just pathetic. Why on earth am I saving 3D glasses? If I recall, the last 3D movie that I watched was observed with the glasses not even on my eyes...they annoyed me. So what in the world am I keeping them for...for "just in case"!! That is just dumb. And what is up with the 100 plug in dispensers!! I am going to have to invest in candles from this point forward. Clearly after the plug in smell good thingys fade away I must not purchase the overpriced refills. And obviously one of us must have confused this drawer for a trash can because that balled up post it note looks like it was meant for the garbage.

AND WHAT'S WITH ALL OF THE RECEIPTS! Even if we wanted to return the item we wouldn't be able to find the appropriate receipt due to all the other receipts! This makes me think of the over abundance of napkins that we have in our glove compartment in our car. I mean seriously, if we were stranded on a mountain somewhere in the dead of winter, or sinking into a river, them hundreds of napkins will not save us! Give me an emergency kit or a blow up life boat or something! We can so much better be utilizing that space.

After closely looking at this pit of despair I began to notice that some of this stuff is not in fact junk at all! I am so ashamed...there are starving people in Africa...hell, there are starving people down the street and we have the nerve to have money just chilling in a junk drawer! Hiding out like nobody needs it.
$11.91. If this is junk then I must be high rolling and we all know that is not true or our many renovations would not be moving so slowly. Something has got to be done about this. Someone should really take responsibility and make this right; turn this "junk drawer" into a "random things that are occasionally needed but have no specific place in the home so we keep them here in this newly organized compartmental drawer".

While someone works on that, I'm going to use my time wisely and just take that $11.91 junk and treat myself to something special until it's figured out. At least something good came out of this chaos :-)



Brandi said...

your junk drawer looks like mine, especially with all those fragrance plug-ins! lol! maybe we should take time this weekend to get it "figured out"! haha!

Latoya @ The Scott's Crib said...

LMBO!!! You really had me rolling on this one! I absolutely love to read your writing because you are indeed hilarious. Maybe you should write books...I'm sure my kindle would be full of your works! I hope you get that junk drawer straightened out, if not I would definitely enjoy reading another post about it:)

Anita said...

*singing* My junk drawer looks better than yours! Nah na nah nahhh na LOL

Maybe because I've spread the junk into three drawers.

Acutally, I've become quite organized and have specific junk in each drawer. I even have divider containers.

Funny get to work and clean up that junk!

Anonymous said...

You mean you havea drawer for all that junk? Mine is laying everywhere (ie: top of fridge, over top of washer/dryer & in every other nook and cranny) LOL!!!!

Anonymous said...

You mean you havea drawer for all that junk? Mine is laying everywhere (ie: top of fridge, over top of washer/dryer & in every other nook and cranny) LOL!!!!

CALISTA said...



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